An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.
(less)
People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
(less)
Expert stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child’s obvious homosexuality.
(less)
Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should reign in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.
(less)
Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton’s tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers
(less)
White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.
(less)
From Onion News Network International: North Korea’s space program will capture the moon and bring it home, a feat no Western nation could accomplish.
(less)